The Messy Bits (Grace is Here for Them)
The natural, flowing ease of a woman dancing.
The prayer before a meal.
Unmerited favor.
Grace.
Sloppy.
License to sin.
Permission to stay as you are.
What comes to mind when you hear the word, grace? Depending on what your experience has been and what kind of teachings you’ve been under, the word may warm your heart with sentiments of favor, empowerment, and delight or it may wrench your gut—conjuring images of licentiousness or serving as a painful reminder of how unworthy you are.
Though our understanding may be muddled, the beauty of God’s grace is astounding. While its multifaceted nature defies a simplistic definition, it is the air the believer breathes and the fuel that powers an overcoming journey.
Have you ever sat down for coffee or a meal with a trusted friend when you’re in full-on hot mess mode? One of those personal issues you just wish would be fixed already is flaring up. You’re struggling, bad. You pour your heart out, desperately seeking guidance for what you should do.
You’re expecting some concrete steps, or maybe a light beat-down:
Come on, are you serious?
You’re still struggling with that?
You should have it together by now.
After all, you’re saying this to yourself. So you half expect them to echo your own thoughts.
When your torrent of words and gesticulations subsides, you gather yourself and notice their demeanor. Rather than bracing and stiff, your friend is calm, their expression understanding. You immediately relax a bit.
They don’t reprimand you, slap you with Bible verses, or tell you what you should do. They don’t shame you or impatiently huff in frustration. They don’t even express concern that you're still struggling.
Instead, they do an unexpected redirect—zoom out, blow the perspective wide open. They bring out a beautiful facet of who you are, long forgotten in the archives of your heart. They reveal how God sees you, dusting off revelation that had been lying dormant.
Your head lifts, your heart begins to swell. At the same time, you weren’t expecting this. It seems out of left field…
But what about my issue? I need it fixed! You wonder.
They don’t stop there. Your friend points to where you’re growing and what God is doing. They know you. They know who you are, who God says you are, apart from your struggles. They are tuned into God’s heart for your life. And they speak out of that. They remind you who you are, where you’re headed. Not generically, but in a way that hits your heart deeply. Aligns.
Suddenly filled with life, your eyes shift away from the problem at hand and onto the majesty of God, the beautiful identity he has created you with, and the direction you are going.
Your problem isn’t “solved” but it loses the controlling hold on your focus. The pressure is lifted as the issue is immersed in the greatness of God's love (through the gracious love of your friend).
Perspective returns.
You feel recalibrated, back toward a more balanced, patient, and kind view of yourself and your journey. Gratitude floods your being.
Empowered and grounded, you can take the next step. Not because your friend told you what it was, but because you are reminded of who you are, in Him. Your focus has moved off of the problem and onto the journey. You know that in time, in the patient process, that issue will be swallowed by love and grace. Your job is to continue to run the race, press toward the high call (Phil. 3:14).
As you part ways with your friend, an overwhelming awareness strikes you—you have just encountered the very nature of grace.
Depressurizing the Healing Journey
But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.
-Ephesians 2:4-9
Through the work of Christ, it is grace that puts us in right standing with God. We can come to Him, as His children, even with all our sin and messiness. What a beautiful picture! We don’t need to perform rituals or try to fix ourselves up or get rid of our sin or “get right” with Him. We can come as we are. What an amazing Father.
Our healing and transformation, the cleansing of sin from our life, is the byproduct of, not the prerequisite for, relationship with Him.
In the New Testament, the Greek word for grace is charis (G5485). Here is the definition:
grace
that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm, loveliness: grace of speech
good will, loving-kindness, favour
of the merciful kindness by which God, exerting his holy influence upon souls, turns them to Christ, keeps, strengthens, increases them in Christian faith, knowledge, affection, and kindles them to the exercise of the Christian virtues
what is due to grace
the spiritual condition of one governed by the power of divine grace
the token or proof of grace, benefit
a gift of grace
benefit, bounty
thanks, (for benefits, services, favours), recompense, reward
What a rich word!
Mark DeJesus has an incredible video series on grace. It is far more thorough than anything I can write here. If you’re interested in a deep dive on grace throughout the scriptures I highly recommend it. Mark and his wife Melissa have been long-time friends/mentors and Mark was even my former pastor! I immensely respect them and their work.
I love the working definition of grace that Mark provides:
Grace: God’s relational empowerment, divinely working in and through your heart, as a gift, based on the work of Jesus Christ.
Grace reaches into the mess, meets us where we are—in love relationship. Grace removes the burdens and pressures of needing to fix ourselves or be perfect. Drenches us with mercy and kindness. It is a gift, one of the best gifts. A delight to the soul. Yes, you are a hot mess, but you are worthy of this gift because you are His child.
Grace shifts the focus from ourselves—how can I fix myself—to God. And as we look to Him, our identity is revealed. We are invited to come into alignment with how He sees us, and live out of that. Grace opens up freedom, injects us with fresh life.
It invites us into the patient journey. Empowers us to continue stepping forward, as we are transformed into the likeness of Christ (2 Cor. 3:18). Our transformation is the natural result of this patient, relational journey, not our striving or rule-following.
Calming the Chaotic Schedule
As grace calms the internal overwhelm of needing to “fix” ourselves, it also brings peace and order to the external overwhelm of all the things we think we should be doing. Our lifestyles are busy, oftentimes chaotic. If we can slow down, create a bit of breathing room, we can allow grace to bring order.
Instead of being driven by guilt, cultural pressure, autopilot-living, or what we feel like a “good Christian” should do—and as a result taking on way too much—we tune into where God is leading, partner with what He is doing.
For your life, your family, for your spheres of influence, what is important for this season? What is not?
God cares deeply about what you’ve got on your plate, and grace allows us to flow in His priorities, rather than trying to cram everything in because that’s what we’ve always done and that’s what everyone else is doing. You think you must be focusing on ten things right now. But God’s focus is probably only on one or two. God’s all about peace and order, so if your life feels chaotic, that’s a good indicator that it’s time for a grace check-in (1 Cor. 14:33).
You will be amazed how much drops off the schedule and how much lighter your load gets when you tune into what God is doing and stop responding out of what you feel like you should do.
Beware the Enemies of Grace
As I mentioned last week, most of my life could not be characterized as graceful! In fact it was dominated so much by my own striving and pressure that I burned out. I was a believer for much of this time, but, like so many, lacked an understanding (I mean deep heart understanding, not head knowledge!) of God’s love and grace. God met me at the bottom (as He is so good at), and began revealing to me the beauty that was available in His grace and love.
Grace had always been available to me, as it is to you, but, filled with unworthiness, rejection, and condemnation, I wasn’t able to receive it. In the Kingdom, receiving is key. The life of the believer is essentially receiving what God has given us and walking in it. Like all the gifts of the Kingdom, we must be able to receive His grace, take hold of it, walk in it by faith, day by day.
Condemnation and legalism are alive and well. They are enemies of grace. They ride in on their high horse, posturing as spiritual, and with a heavy hand point to the areas we struggle with sin. While there is a place for truth and loving correction, in the context of relationship, condemnation is not loving correction. Rather, it pushes our face in the mud, creates shame, and lays the burdens on even heavier. Clean up your act, they say. Act right.
Legalism still sells today because, relative to relationship, it is easy. Rules are easy. Humans love rules—just give me the formula, the ten steps! Then there’s the invigorating ego boost when we point out the sin in others. We are the righteous ones and they are the sinners. The creep of legalism, rules, and condemnation is subtle, tricky, and deadly—they do not transform. Jesus and the apostles have strong words against condemnation and legalism, and for those who propagated these false teachings (Romans 8:1-4, Gal. 5:1, Matthew 23 among many other places!).
Grace That Undoes Our Logic
Eclipsing the rules and our sin, grace comes in, overshadowing them with love. Grace does not excuse sin, but rather provides the atmosphere for it to be healed (Romans 6:15). Like so much of God’s Kingdom, grace is counterintuitive. Logically, following rules make sense. Grace doesn’t. We’re uncomfortable with it, like we’re uncomfortable with so much of our own messiness, and oftentimes relationship in general.
Even though we may struggle to grasp the transformative power of relationship, we’ve all seen or experienced examples, such as the one I began this piece with. While condemnation and rules bind us, loving relationship heals and sets us free. Who usually develops into a more grounded and well-adjusted adult, the child surrounded by love (including healthy discipline and boundaries, yes) or the one who grows up with helicopter-parenting, criticism, and strict rules?
Grace is intimately connected with love. I’ve mentioned them together frequently in this piece. To walk in the power of grace we must be rooted in the love of the Father, and seek to grow continually in His love, as His dear children. In the safety of love, His grace reaches out to us, revealing our true identity, developing us in maturity, strengthening us so we can flow powerfully in this world.
A Gift For You ❤️
Grace is a gift. Will you receive it? Step into it? Embrace grace over your life? You are worthy of this gift. So worthy that Christ died for you, even while you were in your sin (Romans 5:8).
Embracing grace is the ultimate relief. The ultimate empowerment. It shifts the onus of our salvation and sanctification off of us, and onto the power of God. We partner with the work of God in our lives, and are freed from the heavy burden of striving for our wholeness.
I love the image of a woman dancing gracefully. Clothed in favor and beauty she flows, delighting in her elegance. Moving purposefully but with levity. One motion leads smoothly into the next. The audience is captivated. This depiction of grace, accessible to believers and unbelievers alike, is similar to that of the natural world—a breathtakingly beautiful representation of God.
I was never a dancer. I was more of a slide tackle you in soccer kinda gal. But I want more of this flow, this ease in my life. I need it. We all need it. Because just as we can’t earn our salvation, we can’t strive our way to healing, and we can’t overwork our way to purpose. What a wonder that we can move through this life empowered by God’s grace.
And as grace has its work in us, and through us, we give the gift to others, that they may experience the same freedom.
God is not afraid of your sin. He is drawing you near in the midst of it. Grace is here for the messy bits—your messy bits.
Are you?
Can you look soberly at your struggle, be patient and kind with yourself in the midst of it? Or will you push it away? Try to hide it, or “fix” it? Will you welcome grace into your struggle? Or will unworthiness and legalism prevent you from receiving it?
If we will receive the gift of grace, what power can come from our wounded, sinful areas!
Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more
- Romans 5:20
Reflection:
What’s been your understanding or experience with God’s grace?
How would your relationships change if grace was a more powerful presence, rather than legalism or performance-driven Christianity?
Leave a comment and let me know!